Did I say snake? It's more worm at this stage but never ever tell him I said that!
Every chance he gets to play with it or touch it or show it to someone - he will. I cannot get him to keep it in his pants.
Yes pants, finally potty trained (day only) but I wish he wasn't. Nappies and pull ups acted as an elasticated barrier to his willy, like a Venus fly trap.
Pants give full access.
I don't want him to have this level of access to his new best friend.
I have lost count of the number of times I have told him if he doesn't stop I will chop it off. I've even gone to the scissor drawer to act out full on scare tactics and it works for all of 5 minutes!
Even at this young age, no one wants to be John Bobbit..
This week I reached an all time low and said the big bad wolf would come and eat it all up.
Again, it worked - For all of 5 minutes!
Males clearly learn from a very young ages how to love their willies or 'willy bobbington' as it's called in our house.
I woke up 2 nights ago to the sound of hissing.
I almost wished that the hissing had been a genuine adder that had found itself in urban surrounds by mistake.
But nooooo, boy had decided even in his sleep that his willy was still a massive form of entertainment and had got it out, clearly very tired he had also forgot to put it back. So that hissing sound was piss that I was now laying in. My very own water bed.
Can't say I was too happy that night but I wasn't changing the bed at 2am, bugger that, I'll leave that behaviour for the organised, sensible mums. I just stuck a couple of towels on top and slept on them til morning.
So frustrated, at a loss for how to curb this constant obsession with own body parts that when I took baby to be weighed I decided to tell on boy to health visitor.
Yep, I was full on grassing him up. I didn't know what to do.
The long drawn out conversation went like this;
Me: 'I've never had a boy before. He's obsessed with his willy. I mean, really obsessed'
H/V: 'Aren't all men'
Problem solved then! That's exactly what I'll do about it!!
Arghhhhhhhhhh.............
So as it happens, I'm still stuck with willy wanderer. The trouser worm still comes out for frequent viewings of the world.
I still threaten to chop it off.
His sister still grasses him up everytime he gets it out.
The baby is oblivious to any of it.
I still smell of piss.
